My night out/off

We’d had Waterloo drinks with commuter-friends and were keen for a few hours extra. Cellular research had found us the place – the free afterparty for the new Pull and Bear fashion store at the recently opened and restored Bathhouse in Bishopsgate Churchyard, in the city but just a macbook pro’s throw from Barleyland up the road in Poxton. We were mindful of the trustfund trendy crowd, but resolved to give it a go as the draw was DJs like Cooly G and Brackles, and him from Hot Chip. Down the church alley and the outside is rammed with scenesters, the place smells of Event. We get in the plebs queue, thinking it wouldn’t take long.

After nearly an hour of being prodded and aurally abused by the incessant babble of the Barleys behind us going on about, I dunno, grimestep or something and then doing their own horrific mc routines (how the accent changes then and when they were talking to the door staff), we sack it. Matey on the door said something about needing to have replied to a Facecock invite so our slim chances got even slimmer. They were also making sure everybody from the party was in first. We were now relying on Tommy’s natty shorts being our biggest pull. I need to hear some good music being played out and, sure, the buzz of being in the matrix but not that much. Bye bye idiots. My thoughts were with the angular male quartet who had been up the front, doing their best to appear cool after all that time watching people go past them in and in.

All in all a reminder of other pathetic failures in my clubbing ‘halcyon days’. Later I cycle back and see that the final throngs were getting in at half 2, ready for a half an hour’s bobbing about.