The virtual dance

A mate sent a mix cd entitled ‘junglelectro’ which I think he did himself on computer software. I can’t vouch for this, as it came up in Japanese on my iTunes at work, and I can’t tell you more about him, as he has a public presence as a presenter flogging shit. I can’t say any more, I won’t. Anyway, he wanted to know my thoughts so I put down my reactions in real time.

First riddims evolve into Lemon D's Going Gets Tough – the space-step classic, and the Bill Hicks samples are ace... ooh, in comes a tune from indiejunglists The Postal Service which I put on a mix a while ago. Steppas go crazy! Difficult to eq that one, as I have found out before – it just bursts! Don't know the next, but the breaks are Peshay-like and it rolls. Yeouch, in comes a heavy flanged riff – I feel queasy. This is method raving, locked in on my cyber pod... kool thwaks, amen mid-90s madness, splinter my face. Oh you already have. Pause for short two-steps, it's an ominous hiatus, but nice washes convince me otherwise... The syncopatics build up again under nice pulses and a top end...

OK, so where's the ‘-lectro’ component? Then Hicks, again, hails the switch. This is not a fusion but parallax forces - do we side with the techno pulses more because we hear them second? Four to the electro floor. Synthia, SYNTHIA!!!! Distended voices. What do they want. Don't know, but take me to your European city of the future. Grids. Networks, Matrices, dance in this bit, think in that, ooh but a ghostly female vox comes in to break up the co-ordination. I'm losing myself. repetition restores the sync, or does it make it worse? In a cyber hole again. Human bounce next up. Europeans aping Americans, no doubt. Twisted funk, the PR people call it. Can you sell this on your show. No, Mr Evans from Letchworth, we've sold out. But maybe we'll do you a rip, if you like Will Hicks. PROVE IT. And the next one contorts and squeezes on top of a squelchy low end. Then goes for pavlovian appeal. What have they taken? What have I taken? (a cuppa while clicking on my apps in the ‘dock’). It is replaced with a burbler/screecher. Sirens keep our attention, though we doubt their import. Nice 80s industrial snares; will always love that sound. I smell Belgium. What’s this controlled eruption of noise? This would tear Fuse apart. Have it then fuck off back to Englertron on the high-speed subsea transpodule. How many euros? Ur having a laugh, Gert! I hear a break!!! And a quaint bleep. Early Warp techno innit? Or un homage, certes. Then it goes elsewhere, back to the grid with its break incorporated.

Tiga & Zyntherius pops up – les lunettes de soleil au nuit? My partner and I loved this one from the indulgent electroclash daze. Will the whole tune come in? Yes, but is Hicks still relevant? Average riff, rhythm too low, but it works. Naughties Velvets in the diseased metropoli of Eurabia, whites and their middle-class Asian/Arab friends go off to future-dance sophistry, where noise is art, while jihad is plotted in the ghettos. Take your glasses off and disengage your Islamophobia. “One of my best friends is an Arab, actually”. No he isn’t. ‘Sunglasses’ fades into some wet eurodance. What is it? Bing bing pom. Danse de melancholie? End of the night (end of the mix] is nigh. Ah, but here’s another Tuff City outing – I know it. Rother? Clone boys? Felix shower screen riff appears so it must be a rmx. Hip-hop and ATCQ finishes us off. This tells us that no locked groove is permanent, you can switch modules as mood dictates. Back at home with the chong in hand, Phife Dawg! Black swing, the first and best manifestation of modern recorded music. Now please go and earn some money/buy some time to do it again. The last Hicks message tells us something, but it’s not clear enough and we don’t care anyway. Because the beat of the drum has gone….